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From: Human Resources Department
Subject: New Policy using the Spanish language during working hours

Several visitors to our office have brought to our attention that our
Spanish-speaking employees commonly use offensive language. Such
behavior, in addition to violating firm practices, is highly
unprofessional, offensive to both visitors and employees, and will not
be tolerated. We have decided to implement a series of rules in our
office and would expect they be followed.

It is expected that ALL employees immediately adhere to these rules:

1.Words like "coño", "carajo", and other such expressions will
not be used for emphasis, no matter how heated the discussion may get.

2. Non-important matters should not be addressed to as
"pendejadas" in the office.

3. You will not say "la cagó" when someone makes a mistake, or
"se cagó en su madre" when you see someone being reprimanded. All
forms and derivatives of the word "cagar" are inappropriate in our
environment.

4. Lack of determination will not be referred to as "falta de
cojones" or "mariconerias", nor will a person with a lack of
initiative be referred to as "pendejo" or "comemierda" at work.

5.No Manager or Supervisor, under any circumstances, will be
referred to as "hijo de la gran puta", "ese cabron", or "ese maricón"
in the work place.

6. When a good proposal is presented, the term "esto está de
pinga" must not be used.

7.Unusual or creative brainstorming meetings will not be
referred to as "pajas mentales".

8.Do not say "como jode" if a person is persistant, or "se
jodió" if somebody is going through a difficult situation.
Furthermore, you must not say "que jodienda" or "esto está de la
reputa de su madre" when matters become complicated in your line of
work.

9.When asking someone to leave you alone, you should not say
"vete pa'l carajo", nor will you substitute "¿qué carajo quieres ?"
for "May I help you?" at the office.

10.When leaving the office, using the term "me voy pa'l carajo"
is not proper.

11.When any office equipment fails, it must be reported as "it
broke down" and not "se descojonó" or "se jodió la mierda esta".

12.Last, but not least, after reading this memo, please do not
say "me voy a limpiar el culo con esto". Just keep it clean and file
properly.

Thank you for your cooperation.
 
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